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Season Five (1994)

Episode Pages

Each episode from the fifth season has its own page. On the pages are information, links to transcripts, and perhaps other media. Click an episode number to visit its page.

501 | 502 | 503 | 504 | 505 | 506 | 507 | 508 | 509 | 510
511 | 512 | 513 | 514 | 515 | 516 | 517 | 518 | 519 | 520 | 521

Episode Guide

Reprinted below is an episode guide for season five as it appeared in the old alt.tv.kids-in-hall FAQ. (Only change: added episode numbers which link to episode pages.) It is reprinted here to be used to help find the skit or show you are interested in; then you can click the episode page.

This episode guide is not authored or updated by KITHfan.org. There are some mistakes and omissions, all of which should be fixed on the accompanying episode page.

If you need help reading this guide, see the help page. Also, many people helped in the creation of the old FAQ, thank you to them all.

#501
• Idiot Boy at Work (DS)(5): Idiot Boy is causing problems at work (Idiot Boy)
• Police Department (BMS)(5): 10:00 a.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? (Police Department)
• You've Gained Weight (DK)(5): woman with eating disorder discusses weight problems
• Police Department (BMS)(5): 6:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? (Police Department)
• Feelyat! (KMSD)(5): bizarre foreign-language game show (& news bulletin) (Darryl)
• Brian's Been Arrested (S)(5): Fran tells how Brian was arrested (Fran)
• Police Department (BMS)(5): 11:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? (Police Department)
• The Beard (all)(5): Man's beard takes over his life (Nena)

#502
• Police Department (SMB)(5): 10:00 a.m. Precinct House - "conclusion" of "Did you kill that guy?" (Police Department)
• Disgusting Old Man (KMDJ)(5): old man asks neighbor to turn over his wife (Disgusting Old Man)
• The Chosen One Thinker (BDK)(5): fast food crew chief/chosen one thinks
• Chance Meeting* (B)(5): the story of a man's and woman's chance meeting (directed by Bruce)
• Police Department (SMBD)(5): 9:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? (Police Department)
• Firing Documentary (KDM)(5): man makes documentary of being fired from work
• Police Department (SMB)(5): Did you kill that guy?
• Grizzly* (KMD)(5): man encounters a "bear" while hunting for chicks
• Police Department (SMBD)(5): 1:00 a.m. Precinct House - real "conclusion" of "Did you kill that guy?" (Police Department)

#503
• Whores (DSK)(5): drumming up business (Whores, Rudy)
• Meet Your New Male Slave (SKDM)(5): Buddy gets a new male slave [Mark narrates] (Buddy)
• Someone Doesn't Like You (MDK)(5): man discusses a guy who doesn't like a friend
• Whores (SD)(5): rap music (Whores)
• Poreef (BMS)(5): Money-Momentum guys sell new product in a grocery store (Money-Momentum Guys)
• The Tattoo (BS)(5): man reveals his deep hidden secret
• The Hit* (DSMB)(5): man hires hit man to kill himself (Police Department, Thug) (directed by Dave)

#504
• God is Dead (all)(5): newsreel footage of the death of God
• New Boots* (BSKD)(5): workers with steel-toed boots go to the job (directed by Bruce)
• Accelerated-Time Breakup (KD)(5): time accelerates whenever man leaves wife
• Whores (SDK)(5): new price list (Whores, Rudy)
• Buddy's Bar -- Montreal (S)(5): Buddy talks about Montreal (Buddy)
• Whores (SD)(5): johns who can't pay (Whores)
• Dipping Areas (all)(5): a restaurant kitchen discussion about the mousse dipping areas

#505
• Steps* -- Gay Pride (all)(5): gay pride day (Steps, Police Department)
• Stump Hand Waiter (SDKB)(5): the waiter with stumps for hands (Danny Husk?)
• Butt Freak Film Buff (DM)(5): the guy who likes a certain type of movie scene
• Gavin at the Police Department (BKS)(5): Gavin registers a complaint at the police department (Gavin)
• Steps* -- Gay Pride (DSK)(5): gay pride day continued (Steps)
• Guy Who Consoles People in Hospital (DMBKJ)(5): the guy who consoles crying people in the hospital
• Steps* -- Gay Pride (DSK)(5): gay pride day continued (Steps)
• Evan the Stereo Salesman (BKM)(5): Evan the intense stereo salesman (Evan, Satan, Murray)

#506
• Fight-Picking Guy - This Close (SD)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight
• Weston & Virgil in 1972 (SMB)(5): Weston & Virgil at school in 1972 (Weston Esterhazy, Virgil)
• Power-Mad after Promotion (KDM)(5): mail clerk gets promoted and goes power-mad
• Sick about Crime (D)(5): experienced cop gets sick about lawbreakers
• Laundromat Business Opportunities (MB)(5): businessman tries to lease underwear
• Fight-Picking Guy - Up Your Craw (SK)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight
• Post-Apocalypse Poets (KMB)(5): post-apocalypse poets smokes pot and writes songs
• Fight-Picking Guy - Hey! (SM)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight
• Coal-Shoveler with Angst (BM)(5): coal shoveler questions life

#507
• Slow Motion Trick (MDK)(5): guy acts slow to make friend leave
• Ex-Girlfriend Relocation (MKD)(5): guy wants to have ex-girlfriend relocated
• Whores (DS)(5): looking for a hooker with a heart of gold (Whores)
• Love (B): Bruce monologue about love
• Breast-Obsessed Businessman (KDS)(5): man obsessed with secretary's breasts
• Whores (DS)(5): "Want a date?" joke backfires (Whores)
• Naive Duck Hunting (SM)(5): hunting-naive companions go duck hunting
• Whores (DS)(5)
• They Love Me in France (all)(5): why Kevin is popular only in France

#508
• 555-SLUT (none): gross guy's phone sex ad
• Chicken Lady at the Mall (DMSB)(5): Chicken Lady masturbates at the mall (Chicken Lady)
• Old People (B)(5): Bruce monologue about old people
• Office Joker Revenge (MKB)(5): man wants to get revenge against office joker
• 555-SLUT (none)(5): gross guy's phone sex ad
• Exercise Class Instructors (MBS)(5): exercise class teachers have a fight
• 555-SLUT (D)(5): friend-of-gross-guy's phone talk ad
• Embarrasing Dinner (KSDM)(5): man's companion snorts coke at dinner (Smitty)

#509
• Steps* -- Coming Out (DSK)(5): Steps guys discuss coming out to their parents (Steps)
• Crab Shampoo (KM)(5): American in Canada wants crab shampoo
• Obfuscator Boyfriend (DB)(5): man obfuscates about moving in together
• Mr. Tisane's Tea Problem (KMD)(5): Mr. Tisane addicted to tea (Mr. Tisane)
• Boiled Potatoes (MDSK)(5): a man has an idea for a new restaurant
• Steps* -- Movie (KDSB)(5): Steps guys see Intimate Circumstances (Steps)

#510
• Lick Town Clean (DK)(5): residents must lick the town clean
• Agents in the Bar (SMK)(5): the Sudelmans in the bar order drinks after last call (Sudelmans)
• The Lovers 3* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark)
• Noisy Kid (MBKD)(5): man in line complains about a yakky kid
• Dave/Elk (DS)(5): comparison of Dave and an elk [Scott narrates]
• Humpback Gays (BS)(5): gay pair discusses one guy's hump (Butchie?)
• The Lovers 4* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark)
• My Training* (BKM)(5): man who participates in competitive bathtub-soaking

#511
• The Test-Tube Baby (SD)(5): man complains about being a test-tube baby
• Kathie & Dry Cleaner (BMSK)(5): Kathie sleeps with dry cleaner (Kathie, Cathy, Tanya, Secretary, Bigot Cabbie)
• Whores (DSK)(5): first timer (Whores, Rudy)
• Starving Street Singers (BKM)(5): street singers look for food (Street Singers)
• Communist Threat (DK)(5): man talks about the communist threat
• Whores (SK)(5): Maudre pretends to be Rudy's wife (Maudre, Rudy)
• Man's Girlfriend's Jobs (all)(5): man who wants girlfriends with various jobs

#512 (Not in FAQ)
• Shoe Shine--He's not stoned; he's just noticing things.
• The Monkeys--Be afraid. Be very afraid; he might let the monkeys loose.
• You Scuzzy Piece of Filth!--He dialed wrong.
• Raj and Christine: Temporary Roommates--She contributes; she shoplifted for him.
• Husk Musk--The bottled scent of Danny.

#513
• Clothes-Talker (K)(5): man talks to his clothes
• Sid & Sharisse Wedding (all)(5): Sid & Sharisse get married (Sid, Sharisse, Sid's Friend)
• Whores (DSM)(5): film producer (Whores)
• Darn Near Puked (BSK)(5): office workers discuss "gross" things
• Whores (DS)(5): high heels and old boyfriends (Whores)
• Scott's Vision (SM)(5): Scott has a vision after reading a list of men who died of AIDS
• Again! Again! (SKBM)(5): old man asks women to dance in their underwear

#514
• Police Department (BM)(5): 2:16 p.m. Cherry Beach - madness in L.A. (Police Department)
• Bleeding Ear (KDB)(5): man's ear starts bleeding at dinner
• Bikini Inspector (B)(5): man complains about "Bikini Inspector" T-shirts
• Wedding at Buddy's (SKM)(5): Buddy conducts a marriage ceremony (Buddy)
• This Scene Was Written in Haste...* (SDK)(5): a sketch written in haste
• Hi-Tech Car Alarm (M)(5): Tucker followed by a car after setting off its alarm (Tucker)

#515
• Cyclops (SD)(5): cyclops at a party
• The Convenience Store Worker (all)(5): A convenience store clerk has his performance reviewed by executives
• Hillbilly's Problem (MDSKJ)(5): A hillbilly has some problems after his cow kicks him in the head (Nurse Unloop)
• Fran the Italian (SM)(5): Fran feels out of sorts (Fran)

#516
• Wrote the Report Naked (DKS)(5): free spirit writes a report (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss, Bingo the Clown)
• Don't Shut off My Cable! (SM)(5): Korean War vet doesn't want to lose his cable (Disgusting Old Man)
• My Gazebo! (all)(5): woman's gazebo disappears (Police Department)
• Scott on Los Angeles (S)(5): a monologue from Scott on a dream he had
• Carlo the Scientist (BM)(5): Darryl participates in an experiment (Darryl)

#517
• Greater Possibilities (DK)(5): Man with submarine for an office
• Steps Guys at Home (SDK)(5): Butch calls 555-JERK (Steps)
• "Living Proof" Press Conference (MKB)(5): Band dies in a bus crash
• Big Bucks* (B)(5): Man with a bizarre job gets the big bucks (directed by Bruce)

#518
• Band Killer (BKM)(5): Capture of a serial killer (Police Department)
• Brown Stuff (DS)(5): A.T. & Love boss has a problem (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss)
• I'm Late (KB)(5): The perfect couple practices being perfect
• Steps* -- AIDS (DKS)(5): Steps guys discuss AIDS (Steps)
• Bye Stan* (all+J)(5): Guy wishes everyone a good weekend (Danny Husk, Cathy, Kathie, Ms. Ferguson?)
• Bellini Day (BMDP)(5): Aliens celebrate Bellini Day (Paul Bellini, sorta)

#519
• Francesca, Bruno, & the Voiceover Guy (SDM)(5): voiceover guy corrects Francesca's grammar (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones)
• Sperm Bank I (SMBK)(5): the humanoids rob a sperm bank (Humanoids for Humanism)
• The Queen at Tea (DKS)(5): the Queen drops by unexpectedly for tea (The Queen)
• Sperm Bank II (MBK)(5): sperm bank continued (Tucker, Armada in stills)
• Man of Destiny (D)(5): a busy guy
• Sperm Bank III (BM)(5): sperm bank continued (Police Department in still)
• Heart Channel (all)(5): a truly bizarre pledge drive (Nena, Murray, Doctor, Nurse Unloop, Terrier)
• Sperm Bank IV (-)(5): sperm bank concluded

#520
• Noisy Roommates (DK)(5): man has problems with his "44" noisy roommates
• Memoirs (SD)(5): husband and wife read "Memoirs" and reminesce
• Journey to the Top of the Stairs (KSM)(5): a musical number

#521 (Final Episode)
• End of the Beginning (P)(5): Bellini listens to the radio (Paul Bellini)
• Armada Grows Old (MBK)(5): Armada sees the future (Armada)
• The Sixth Kid (all)(5): Jeff Berman tribute
• Buddy's Bar - Closure (S)(5): Buddy closes the bar
• On Censorship (KDB)(5): "recap" of censored episodes
• A.T.&Love Buyout (all)(5): Everyone is fired (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary, A.T.&Love Boss)
• Burial (all+P)(5): the boys are buried and Bellini speaks! (Paul Bellini)

#522 (Compilation Episode)
• God is Dead (all)(5): newsreel footage of the death of God
• Chicken Lady at the Mall (DMSB)(5): Chicken Lady masturbates at the mall (Chicken Lady)
• Hillbilly's Problem (MDSKJ)(5): A hillbilly has some problems after his cow kicks him in the head (Nurse Unloop)
• The Convenience Store Worker (all)(5): A convenience store clerk has his performance reviewed by executives
• Meet Your New Male Slave (SKDM)(5): Buddy gets a new male slave [Mark narrates](Buddy)
• Disgusting Old Man (KMDJ)(5): old man asks neighbor to turn over his wife (Disgusting Old Man)