Transcribed from: HBOCast:
Transcribed by:[Scott and Kevin are seated at the dinner table.]
- Scott- Danny Husk
- Kevin- Wife
Kevin: Are you enjoying your meal, Danny?
Scott: Huh? Oh yeah. It's fine food.
Kevin: You seem distracted, dear.
Scott: Huh? Huh.
Kevin: Did something happen at work?
Scott: No!
Kevin: Good.
[Scott made to mounds of potatoes and now tops each with a cherry tomato.]
Scott: I have nipples, you know.
Kevin: Fine. I'll just clear the dishes then. La la. . .
Scott: No! Put the damn plate down. I want to talk about my nipples.
Kevin: Well, what do you want to say about them?
Scott: Okay. First of all, they're very sensitive.
Kevin: [worried] Oooh. . .
Scott: And I wish you'd pay more attention to them. Just because they're not floating around on the end of a pair of boobs doesn't mean they should be ignored.
Kevin: Well, that's wonderful, dear. It's just wonderful.
Scott: Fine. Then why won't you touch them?
Kevin: I don't know. I just don't feel right.
Scott: C'mon, why not?
Kevin: Well. First of all, it's a proven fact that men's nipples are unsanitary.
[Scott laughs.]
Kevin: Yes! They are a cesspool for germs.
Scott: Why, that is patently ridiculous!
Kevin: And, second of all, you [hesitates] pee through them.
Scott: What? I pee through my penis.
Kevin: Oh my God!! [Kevin begins rinsing his mouth out with water.] Why didn't you say something?! Oh my God!
Scott: I guess we both have a lot to learn about out bodies. C'mon let's start now.
Kevin: No! Oh!
Scott: It's just a nipple.
Kevin: Oh my God!