Again. Again!

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison ()
Cast: [Setting. A Church Graveyard. There's a funeral going on.]

[We see a depressed Bruce enter a limo as an old couple watches him from the front steps]

Kevin: He's really broken up.

Scott: He'll be okay. He doesn't seem that bad.

Kevin: Well, at least she left him some insurance money. He's set up pretty well.

Scott: I sure hope he'll be okay...

Kevin: Oh, I think he'll be fine. Don't you think?

[The limo pulls off as we cut to Bruce's House]

[Bruce sits in his chair, watching two women in their underwear dance to some jazz/swing music. He wears a suit and looks quite pleased with himself.]

Bruce: [softly] Yeah. Oh yeah. yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's nice. Ummm.. yeah. That's nice. That's nice.. Oh that's good... oh, yeah.

[The women stop dancing]

Woman #1: 300 bucks?

[Bruce reaches into a paper bag he holds, pulls out a wad of money, counts out 300 bucks and gives it to the woman]

Bruce: Again.

[The women start shaking their groove thing again]

Bruce: Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[Cut to Bruce's House at Night]

[Bruce sits in the same chair, but he's dressed more casually. Two different women, slightly younger are dancing for him to the same music]

Bruce: [sounding a bit louder and dare I say it, more beastial than before] Oooh.. oh yeah..That's what I like... that's nice.. yeah, yeah.. oooo yeah.... Yeah.. yeah, oo... yeah, yeah! (etc.)

[The women stop dancing]

Woman #2: 300 bucks.

[Bruce looks confused]

Woman #2: That will be 300 dollars please?

[Bruce nods and reaches into the brown bag and pulls out a wad of bills. It is much a much smaller wad than before, suggesting that he's been spending quite a bit of cash.]

[Bruce counts out the money and hands it to her.]

Bruce: [a bit more franctially than before] Again!

[The girls start dancing again]

Bruce: Yeah! Ooooooh! Yeah yeah! Oooh ! Yeah Yeah! (etc.)

[We cut to the Outside of Bruce's House again. It is day and he has another two different ladies performing for him]

Bruce: [grunting and moaning a bit now] Yeah! That's nice! Yeah! Yeah! Teach me, yeah yeah, yeah.! Oh. Don't tease, don't tease! Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, Yeah..oh... Good. Yeah.. Yeah.. Too much.. yeah.. (etc.)

[The Women stop dancing]

Woman #3: 300 dollars.

[Bruce checks his bag. It is empty]

Bruce: Don't got. [motions to continue] Again! Heh?? Again!

Woman #3: No!

Bruce: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Again! Again!

Woman #3: No!

Bruce: Yeah, yeah yeah!....[spasms a bit in excitement] Again!

[Cut to later. Bruce is in his pajamas and looking at an eviction notice.]

Mark: Do you understand? The bank is forclosing on your mortgage because you haven't made any payments.

Bruce: [softly] Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Mark: Apparently you spent all your money? [shaking head in disbelief] Do you understand?

Bruce: [softer still] Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Cut to a nursing home. We see a shot of a public room and then cut to Bruce's room where he has two fully clothed nurses dancing for him. Just a note for you continuity freaks, but one nurse is a middle-aged black woman and the other is a not-quite-skinny white woman. How low the mighty have fallen.]

Bruce: [grunting now, almost hard to make out each word] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh yeah!

[The nurses stop dancing]

Nurse: [bored] Okay... that will be 300 bucks.

Bruce: No got. [gestures] Again! Again!

[We see Bruce be carrying down a hallway in a wheelchair. He gibbers to himself in a crazy, horny old man way.]

[We cut to an alley somewhere and see a bum with a bottle and a harmonica. He takes a swig from the bottle and begins to play on the harmonica while dancing a strange jig.]

Bruce: Again! Again! Again! Yeah!

[We see Bruce holding two coins. The bum takes one and begins his dance again]

Bruce: Again, again again! Come on!

[The bum begins his song and dance again as Bruce gives him the other coin and the skit ends]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video